#24

Somehow im having many tantrums.  It makes me angry that i cant do anything faster. Would i feel better if i just leave home? is that what i will solve my problems?  .  i sleep bad and i´ve lost my circadian rhythm.  Maybe these holidays are not good?  .  Tomorrow. The first of 2022 i would like to go to the gym and just make a long session of cardio. Maybe that helps me. 

It´s 31.12.21  Today i was at work (waiter)  i felt bad, it was my first day after a week. They made many jokes about me, the guy called Mosses became somehow very unkind. The girl called Manja became very unkind aswell.  The other girl was at least pretty nice and i got some free food.  I should never trust anyone, that is truth.  What can i do to become better? will i ever become better?  I should always do as good as i can, and i think i did it right.  . . My mother is a problem we were planing to meet some friends that kindly invited us. I hate her. She refused going there just to stay here and do nothing but baking some shitty bread that only she likes.  . Why dont i go anywhere else?  its as simple as i cant. I didnt plan anything else thinking that we would go to meet these friends.  Am i being too rude to my mother ? , , I´m looking for a flat.  yes, i even went some days ago to a revision. the one i saw wasnt so bad but it was too expensive for me. Im now only looking for room